The Velveteen Rabbit: A Tale of Becoming Real
It happens in one of my favorite children’s books, The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams. There, a brand-new stuffed bunny, given to a little boy on Christmas morning, discovers there is magic in the nursery where he now resides and something called “real” that he wants to learn more about. So he asks the wise old Skin Horse one afternoon, “What is real?” And the Skin Horse tells him, “Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
Sure enough, as the months roll by, this is exactly what transpires for the Velveteen Rabbit. The boy loves him so dearly – spends so much time playing with him, telling him secrets, sharing life together – that the bunny is transformed – made real – a little shabbier from all the hugs and joyful adventures – worn from being treasured – but that was okay because, as the Skin Horse had assured him, “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
My Journey as a Dinner Church Leader
In my journey as a Dinner Church leader, I have seen the Velveteen Rabbit miracle happen over and over in the lives of those who have joined us at the table. People I had never met before, who started as attendees, became real – as we ate meals together, and I listened to their stories, and joined them on their journey, sometimes in places of great need.
And folks with whom I’d had a casual acquaintance, known from a distance, became real to me as well, brought to life, as it were, as we shared time together and passed the mashed potatoes and gravy. The all-important ingredient of love was introduced at our table.
Stories of Transformation
Gene and Joann
This happened for my backyard, over-the-fence neighbors, Gene and Joann, who I’d only had a smile-and-wave sort of relationship with for years until one night, they joined us for Dinner Church and they kept coming back. In the process, I found out we were really a family in Christ and new bonds formed. Gene and Joann became real to me!
Janice
It happened for Janice, the lady who sold me stamps at the Post Office. She was always so friendly, but that’s all I knew of her, a smiling face behind a counter, until we found ourselves together at a table and over time, I learned she was also my sister and I was her brother by faith in Jesus, and there was new life to explore and enjoy.
Rita
It also happened with Rita, who had been one of our first guests when we launched the Dinner Church mission to our community in September of 2022. I knew Rita as someone who worked for a person from our church. I was aware that she’d had a challenging life, which gave her a firm, no-nonsense demeanor, accentuated by the bold turquoise jewelry she wore to highlight her Native American heritage.
That’s all I knew of Rita, and I never really imagined knowing much more about her, but God had other plans. When I sat down with her at Dinner Church, I got to hear her story, build a relationship, and connect with her on a personal level. Over the course of the next few months, we experienced something like what happens to the Velveteen Rabbit. Dinner Church opened the door for Rita to become real to me, and I to her – a delightful experience indeed.
A Mistake and a Lesson in Forgiveness
At my final Dinner Church before retiring, I had told my last Jesus Story and farewell recognitions had begun, which included the presentation of a beautiful scrapbook containing newspaper clippings, pictures, letters, and cards from the amazing friends with whom I’d shared the past 90 Wednesday nights – people writing about how Dinner Church had changed their lives. A key volunteer, Betty, handed the scrapbook to me, which she had lovingly assembled. I began to look through the pages, admiring her work, when she told me she had to take it back to finish it.
As she did, my mind suddenly jumped back to a childhood phrase that has since become demeaning and rightly retired by most. But my emotional response got ahead of my thinking and I publicly called her an “Indian-Giver.” A firm tug on my elbow from my wife jerked me back from childhood, reminding me we live in different times where we’ve learned some terms of old are actually offensive. This was especially so for Rita, sitting at a table right in front of me who cherished her Native American ancestry and heritage. Regardless of how unintentional my offense might have been, it was still there. I felt like a kid caught and exposed and on Facebook Live, no less! I worried my comment had hurt Rita, who was not only part of our Dinner Church family but had also become very active with our congregation on Sunday mornings, attending worship and classes.
I should have acted in seeking forgiveness right then and there, but I didn’t. I delayed. I realized I had dismissed this “real” person and more so had disparaged her in an uncaring, derogatory comment. Before I knew it Saturday arrived, and I was strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit. I needed to speak with Rita before my last worship service. I called her and got her voicemail. I left her a message to call me but didn’t say what it was about. My phone did not ring.
Later that day while running errands and in a drive-thru, I glanced over and there was Rita, walking across the parking lot under a blazing hot sun. I immediately sensed God was giving me an opportunity to apologize to Rita in person. Sadly, by the time I’d collected my bagged sandwich and fries, Rita had vanished. Then, I caught sight of her again, walking near the intersection by an auto parts store. I quickly pulled over to meet her. She had a look of great relief on her face as she told me her car had broken down, she’d forgotten her cell phone, and was walking home to call a tow truck. I offered her a ride.
As I dropped her off, I apologized to Rita for my insensitive comment and asked her to forgive me, which she did, graciously and completely. It was resolved, and in that reconciliation, I felt clean.
Divine Intervention and Reflection
After my last Sunday, I texted Betty, my scrapbook creator, to let her know how divine intervention had worked between me and Rita. Betty texted back, excited to tell me that Rita had shared this very story with her class on Sunday, where the lesson was coincidentally on forgiveness. Betty noted, “It was a beautiful testimony of just how God works on us in us and for us; even on our pastor.” Rita told the class, “It was a God connection too because she really needed a ride!”
This is the power and the potential of Dinner Church. It makes people real where they somehow weren’t before; brings them to life in a way we’d never experienced until they sat down at the table with others. We see Jesus doing this time and again in His ministry. The Pharisees dismissed whole blocks of people as unworthy of their attention: lawbreakers, tax collectors, and sinners. But Jesus chose to break bread with them instead, got to know their stories, welcomed them into the family, and invited them to experience new life in Him. He made them real by loving them in a way far more powerful than the little owner of the Velveteen Rabbit ever could!
Seeing People as Jesus Did
The way that people become “real” is that we see them. One of the most used verbs for Jesus in the Gospels is that He saw people and He did so in ways that others didn’t. Jesus saw the crowds and had compassion on them. Jesus saw the Rich Young Ruler and loved him. Jesus noticed people: Zacchaeus, Jairus, The Widow of Nain. Jesus operated in a holy awareness of others: the infirmed, oppressed, the poor, foreigners, strangers, outcasts.
Without sight, Bartimaeus is reduced to begging because his neighbors have turned a blind eye to him. They don’t see him as a person of value, which is why they’re so surprised when Jesus responds to the blind man’s cries for mercy, revealing that Bartimaeus is a person worthy of God’s healing power. Likewise, the Gerasene demoniac is no longer seen by his community – those who failed to bind him have given up on his rescue – they avoid the cemetery where he roams at all costs. But not Jesus. He goes to the scary place because that’s where the broken man is who desperately needs to be seen by Jesus. And Jesus sets him free, making him real in a way he never quite was before.
Dinner Church: A Journey of Discovery
What I discovered sitting at a table at our Dinner Church is that I saw people in a way I had not previously. There was an active engagement, and I noticed people’s needs; sometimes physical needs, other times spiritual and emotional needs. Seeing people makes them real.
To be honest, I think Dinner Church made me more real, too. For the 38 years before we launched our community mission, I’d been a traditional pastor doing the things I felt called to do and was blessed in many ways. Since the pandemic, I’d been the pastor who was trying to help his church gain some kind of traction as attendance slipped and hope for some way back to the “good old days” steadily faded. There was, for me personally, Covid fatigue and genuine concern for the future. But then, when we stepped out in faith and began serving free meals and connecting with our neighbors in new ways, I found the footing I’d been praying for – a freedom
in just telling stories about Jesus and singing songs that sought to honor Him and bring others closer to His side.
Suddenly I was swept up in a movement, an early church déjà vu, and a new community of faith formed that hadn’t been there before – one that was so fresh and energizing I couldn’t wait until the next Wednesday came around when we all sat down together and shared food and life and faith – where I sought to make Jesus more real to all who came hungry for the Bread of Life and parched for Living Water.
This is what Dinner Church has done for me and so many others. The power of love has made us real to each other – given us the eyes to see the living, breathing reality of neighbors we never really knew before. Imagine what it could do for you!
